Hey,
Welcome back. It’s been some time. Again.
In this fast-paced world I’m valuing more and more the idea of slow unfoldment. And so writing happens when it happens. Sometimes it does and sometimes it doesn’t. But aside from that I’ve been busy.
With feeling.
Don’t worry. The fire still burns.
It’s October, which means that winter is coming, as the Starks say, and also my birthday came and went. Leaves change colour and fall. The time of death is approaching. However I’m talented enough to go through death even outside the season, so hey that’s something.
I offer my thanks and gratitude to those who support me and my work through donations. It’s incredibly valuable, especially in a world where our worth is challenged by fucking robots (: If there’s anything in particular you’d like to see more from me, please share some feedback in the comments below.
The Meaning of Power
I have experienced a lot of fear lately. I expect you have, too. Indeed, the clouds of darkness always hover above, hiding the eternal Sun.
There are many fears assailing the mind on a daily basis, prompting the creation of vast industries. The whole ‘self-help’ section in the grand library of our literary world. I’ve learned a LOT from them and I’m very grateful for what it has taught me, but it also poses newfound challenges and questions.
One among them is: “What should you do with fear?”
The answers are… complex, but mostly seem to point at: “change fear by changing your reality.” Change your circumstances, by some means. Work hard to acquire more wealth and increase your freedom. Participate in the cultural reality of the present… and you shall be rewarded (more on this topic with Episode 21).
I’m stratifying it a little, of course. But the point is that if you don’t like where you are or who you’re with, you can change it. You can. You just have to find the right way. Spiritual self-help says that this power is within you, hidden somewhere. Somewhere deep. And the journey to find it is, perhaps, the whole damn point of it all.
“But how? Goddamnit, how? How do I do it? How do I change my reality? And how do I do it NOW because I’m so goddamn tired”. Something like that, right? The thoughts go something like that, don’t they?
The answer seems to be something like… “Power.”
Fine, you say. “How do I… get it? How do I obtain, grasp and hold this… “Power”-thing? Just give it to me. Give it to me, please. Give it to me for I have many… many dreams.”
And bro, like, I don’t know. Frankly, I’m tryna figure it out, ngl. Is it the right thing to do, to figure this out? Or not? All these are wrong questions.
The real question that nobody’s asking is: “What IS Power?”
And that’s the question I asked myself today. And the answer is… behind every moment.
Etymologically, ‘Power’ comes from an Anglo-French word ‘poeir’ which translates as ‘to be able to’ or ‘ability’.
What is Power? Is it strength over others? Is it Rule of Reality, so that it looks precisely as you want it to? As you envision it? Is it control over the feelings of those around you? Is it arranging space and time so that they suit your desires?
These are all, really one question. And no, I don’t have answers. It’s simply not a ‘Yes’ or a ‘No’. It’s neither. It can’t be any of those, or perhaps it can be both. It’s the same damn thing.
I don’t think there should be an answer, either. Even though the confusion… hurts. Yeah, it does.
How do I Create something different?
I don’t know. But let’s look deeper at what ‘creating’ really means. Perhaps there’s something wrong in the way we read this question or the way we interpret it.
What if creation is something like a dialogue? Right? I mean, when you create something there’s a meeting between your will and ‘reality’ (or the world around, basically). Reality may sometimes say yes to your will and sometimes it may say no. These two answers also cause different reactions in you, but that’s a different topic.
But what is the nature of this dialogue? Is it aggressive? Like ‘Give me this now’ or is it something like ‘Give this to me now, please I beg you, please give it to me.’ or a mix of both? I’d bet it’s a mix. If you look carefully. Or perhaps it’s even worse? Is it a simply ‘I’ll never get this. I’m hopeless. It’s all hopeless’.
Maybe they’re all wrong, huh? Maybe they’re all the wrong way to ask because we’re confused who the hell are we asking this question to? A stupid, mechanical, dead universe? An indifferent reality, conquered by darkness? Infected by parasites?
Or something that cares about you?
I’m serious. It’s an important question. This has nothing to do with religion or tradition but with the way language is weaved. The way meaning is found.
Because all those answers are valid and you have the power to choose.
So what is Power, then? What is the power to create? I still… don’t know.
But Creation can be the act of Asking. Asking humbly, out of respect for the one you ask. Out of respect for the question itself. It is an old question, this one. Old indeed.
ΠΑΤΕΡ ΗΜΩΝ Ο ΕΝ ΤΟΙΣ ΟΥΡΑΝΟΙΣ ΑΓΙΑΣΘΗΤΩ ΤΟ ΟΝΟΜΑ ΣΟΥ ΕΛΘΕΤΩ Η ΒΑΣΙΛΕΙΑ ΣΟΥ ΓΕΝΗΘΗΤΩ ΤΟ ΘΕΛΗΜΑ ΣΟΥ, ΩΣ ΕΝ ΟΥΡΑΝΩ ΚΑΙ ΕΠΙ ΤΗΣ ΓΗΣ ΤΟΝ ΑΡΤΟΝ ΗΜΩΝ ΤΟΝ ΕΠΙΟΥΣΙΟΝ ΔΟΣ ΗΜΙΝ ΣΗΜΕΡΟΝ ΚΑΙ ΑΦΕΣ ΗΜΙΝ ΤΑ ΟΦΕΙΛΗΜΑΤΑ ΗΜΩΝ, ΩΣ ΚΑΙ ΗΜΕΙΣ ΑΦΙΕΜΕΝ ΤΟΙΣ ΟΦΕΙΛΕΤΑΙΣ ΗΜΩΝ ΚΑΙ ΜΗ ΕΙΣΕΝΕΓΚΗΣ ΗΜΑΣ ΕΙΣ ΠΕΙΡΑΣΜΟΝ, ΑΛΛΑ ΡΥΣΑΙ ΗΜΑΣ ΑΠΟ ΤΟΥ ΠΟΝΗΡΟΥ.
ΑΜΗΝ.
A Return to Tradition
The older I get the more I see the importance and beauty in old traditions. A way to divide up linear time in ways that are meaningful and sacred. A ‘tradition’ is a way to create sacred time, to transform what is otherwise an ordinary day into something extraordinary.
Some traditions maybe aren’t so great and some could use a deeper look. Just because they’re old and dusty don’t mean they have to be thrown away necessarily. As you already know Mythology is kinda my… thing, ehm… so, like, obviously the old is appealing to me.
I think, at a deeper level, nothing is really ‘old’ in the entirety of infinite time. So maybe yesterday deserves a better, closer look.
I’ve also done my best to investigate the idea of Cyclical time further with the newest chapter in the Grammaticon series: Sigma. Here I investigate the Moon and its goddess Selene, as well as the love story between her and the mortal Endymion, destined to sleep forever under her light.
More soon, when it’s ready
